Inner Unrest

I have been gathering emotions, incapable of writing them down on paper, virtual paper. I don’t use paper anymore.

It’s a sad state, as my imagination has always been overactive and gigantic, I am forced to live under the spell of the things I want to do, but can’t seem to, a blob of possibilities that surrounds me, mocking me.

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I quickly dig deeper into my default way of living: the hermit life, a path that helps me explore the most hidden truths of life, as I am almost devoid of human contact, except for my partner, who’s not pleased with my new grown beard of wisdom.

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My inner unrest becomes such, that I turn to desperate actions that have nothing to do with how I’d like to express myself. The first is to eat my emotions.

I run around the house, holding in my hands the tangible manifestation of my pain, while I scream in desperation, because I am my own worst enemy, my executioner… through sugary foods.

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I also use music and intense, ardent, singing, to unleash the inner demons. You can’t sing in any other way, you have to pour your soul through your throat, specially, if it’s metal singing.

Singing

But, somehow, it’s not enough. My emotions still need a better method of expression.

That’s when I find myself naked, hitting a punching bag, with a message written on it that truly awakens my anger.

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As I see my partner staring at me lovingly, I understand, I need to do better than this.

And so, I write.

And the blob of emotions subsides.

 

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Are you ready for love?

Valentine’s Day is coming and love is forced to be in the air. Can you feel it?

On a day like that, we put our rose-tinted glasses and rejoice in our appreciation for love, but the problem is that we simplify something that’s vast and intricate, and thus forget to celebrate a side of relationships that isn’t as fun, although it is equally valuable, because it’s the side that makes us grow as individuals.

It’s the…

Dark Side of Relationships.

Cue the guitar solo.

Part one: Communication

In a relationship, sometimes, your partner will say something that will hurt you. The following is an example of what happened in mine:

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After hearing this, I wondered if our relationship could make it, but he noticed my despair and tried to fix it:

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Which is key. Relationships are about constant interaction, they force you to work through your issues by communicating, helping you both become more open and honest with yourselves and each other, and allowing you to understand how to express your feelings or thoughts more accurately.

I know what you’re wondering, “Did their relationship survive that?” Yes, we managed to survive this bump.

Part two: Boundaries

Other times, you will realize your partner has some personality traits you don’t appreciate. For example, I have a fear of germs, which weighs on him.

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Of course, that’s not completely accurate. We don’t own a dog. But what can I say? He’s a champ.

Through this example, we can see how a relationship makes us confront our boundaries, while at the same time giving us the opportunity to put ourselves in another person’s shoes. In this case, he tolerates my flaw and he washes his hands, not because he’s afraid of the hose, but because he’s making the effort to understand me.

Part three: Happiness

There will be moments when you will feel like your partner is not contributing to your happiness.

80smoviesWhy would he tell me to eat vegetables? Does he not know me? I let this pass, you should too, because nobody is perfect and your happiness is your own, it shouldn’t depend on what anyone else does or say, or whether or not vegetables are involved.

Also, he’s right, I should eat broccoli.

Part four: Fears

A relationship can even test your deepest fears. One moment, you’re quietly reading something on your laptop:

Distracted

The next, you’re terrified, because your partner walks really quietly around the house and suddenly appears next to you.

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By confronting your fears together, you will become stronger individuals and, therefore, a stronger couple.

There are many more examples, but I hope these have helped you see relationships with  added depth, and answer this question:

Are you ready for love?