One minute, you are having fun playing with your collection of possessed dolls, the next, your partner, family member, or roommate, comes up to you and says something along the lines of:
Panic-stricken, your mind starts calculating how to avoid getting the flu. Of course, at some point, you feel bad for them and want to help them, because you care about them and such things, but what matters is your mindset:
This. Is. War.
Each sneeze is a terrifying spray of disease, so an effective method to avoid being hit by it is to jump away from the sick person when you notice they’re about to sneeze.
Another helpful tip is to make ginger tea. The ginger root looks like a tiny, wise, tree trunk, and it will help you kill anything evil that dares to grow inside you.
You could build a custom Heavy Metal Flu Shield (or any other style you want), for situations such as conversations, or avoiding a hug. Don’t forget the importance of carving (or drawing) a battle cry on the front of it, to put you in the warrior headspace.
For example, my shield (illustrated above) is inspired by Judas Priest and approved by Rob Halford, giving me extra power.
Lastly, it is of vital importance to buy the meanest vitamin supplement you can take each day, to give your immune system more weapons in this war against the flu.
Be afraid, flu, be very afraid.