How to confront life’s obstacles

A painful past experience

If the memory of a painful past experience comes to your mind, do not cry. Do the opposite, laugh at it. Laugh hysterically till the memory feels so awkward and out of place, it will want to go away.

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Your fears

When something scares you, don’t avoid it. Although easy, it won’t solve the problem. The solution is to dress up as your favorite strong character and do a routine of shadow boxing, kickboxing, jiu-jitsu, or any other discipline. You will feel the fear surrender to your might.

Fears

An embarrassing moment

This has to be dealt with before it happens. Sounds tricky, but it isn’t. First, you need to practice the art of hypnosis, practice it with your significant other, your parents, friends and pets. Then, when an embarrassing moment happens, proceed to hypnotize everyone who witnessed it, so you can erase their memory of the situation.*

*60% sure that’s how hypnosis works.

Practice

A mosquito

Before it bites you, live your life to the fullest. After it bites you, curse the mosquito and their whole family members. Curse the mosquito wife, the mosquito husband, the mosquito dad, mom, babies; every mosquito. The energy of your thoughts will give the mosquito a tummy ache after feasting on your blood.*

*Not scientifically proven.

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A ghost

If you see a ghost, remember to not be rude, ghosts are very particular about proper manners. Ask for their name, say something like, “How are you doing?”. Do not use contractions or slang words, this will offend them and they will want to haunt you for eternity.

After you’ve had a few minutes of small talk with the ghost, it will be so bored, yet flattered, it will go away.

GoodManners

A mutant killer dolphin

If you encounter one of these nasty things… run. There’s no other escape, they’re too smart and their instinct is to kill humans, but they’re new to having legs, which is why they’re not the most capable runners. So, run!

Mutant

Good luck!

 

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2 thoughts on “How to confront life’s obstacles

  1. I now feel like I have all the necessary tools to handle anything life throws at me. I never knew it was possible to outrun mutant killer dolphins, I just thought that if you encountered one of these you take it like a man because there is nothing you can do…. How wrong I was.

    Liked by 1 person

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